I know this much is true
by Mazz Ninja
Summary: Just when Ponyboy and Darry are really getting alone, Darry gets sick, but whats wrong with him? this is the longest chapter i've ever written
1. 1

"Hey Johnny" I said aloud. I almost burst out crying but I couldn't. I had to keep it in. 

"2 years" I said, laying the rose on his grave. I couldn't believe it had been that long. It felt like yesterday

"I think of you everyday Johnny and I hope" I paused trying to hold back the tears, "I hope you're happy where you are"

"I miss you" I whispered and then left. I headed back to the house. Darry would've hit the roof if he knew I was out here alone.  It was hard enough being there but being there with someone else was even worse. I couldn't talk to Johnny if I knew anyone besides him and God could hear me. 

Things had change, not dramatically, since Johnny and Dally died. Maybe Darry was more patient with me but there was something inside me that had changed. I couldn't feel my heart anymore. That sounds weird but it was like nothing was there, I couldn't feel anything. Of course I'm not talking about the beating, if that stopped I'd be with Mom and Dad and Johnny but I'm talking about not being about the feel anything. Not getting excited or scared or feeling any emotions. 

Soda said he noticed a change in me too. "You never smile anymore Pony" he said, "I wanna see you smile". I'd just grin and go to my room and study. There was nothing much I could do. I had found some new friends from school. Boys that didn't know Johnny or Dally well and didn't ask me questions. I stopped hanging out with the gang as much. It wasn't the same without Johnny and everyone from the gang reminded me of him. I didn't think I'd ever find a friend like Johnny until I met Mark. 


	2. 2

Darry didn't really like my friends although he didn't say it. I could just tell by the questions he asked and the looks.

"Are you going out with that Mark kid again?" he said me while I was combing my hair in the bathroom. 

_Yeah I am and what are you going to do about it, huh?_ I thought

"yeah" I yelled. I quickly walked out of the house before he had a chance to say any more.

I'm not a kid anymore. I'm sixteen. 

He just didn't like Mark because of his reputation. He stole sometimes, he was an expert at hot-wiring cars but he was a nice guy and we got along just fine. He promised to teach me how to hot-wire cars too- Just in case. I liked him most of all from the boys I hung out with. We both had something in common. Both our parents were killed but he never told me how his parents were killed and I never asked. I just expected that he'd tell me if he wanted to. 

We were going to hang out with Terry Jones and Williamson and maybe crash a party afterwards. 

On my way, I heard someone call me. 

"Hey Curtis" I turned to see who it was. Angela Shepard. Great.

"How you doing?" she said running up to me. 

"Good" I said casually, trying to think of a way to get away from her. Not only was she bad news but she was Tim and Curly Shepard's sister. She was beautiful, I had to admit that but she was one tough chick. Scary really. I couldn't figure out why she kept trying to make a move on me. Soda warned me to keep away from her. He heard that she was trying to get back at her ex- Mark's brother Bryon by going out with me. I assured him that I wouldn't go out with her even if I hadn't known that. 

She grabbed me by my jacket and drew herself closer. "Where you off to in a hurry?" she said smiling widely. 

Anywhere your not, I thought. 

"Ah, I'm going to hang out with the boys" I said shaking her hands off my jacket. 

"Curtis!" 

Thank you God, I thought. 

"Hey Mark" I said trying not to sound too relieved in front of him. 

"Hey common, we gotta go meet the others" he said. Then he looked at Angela, eyeing her up and down with a big fat grin on his face. She gave him a death stare and walked off. 

We started walking in the opposite direction. 

"I think I gotta teach you how to act around tough chicks" he said suddenly. I looked at him, cocking my eyebrow like Two-Bit had taught me. 

"What do you know about chicks?" I said laughing

"I know how to spot a good one" he said throwing his arm around me and laughing too.

After we walked a little longer I asked "so where's Bryon?"

"He couldn't come" Mark said simply

I didn't answer. I knew why. He hated my guts. I just couldn't figure out what I did to him. Mark had told me before its coz Angela dumped him to try to go after me but there had to be something else. 

Mark suddenly stopped. "It's not coz of you Pone. He's going on a date ok?".

I just nodded. 

He never called me Pone. No one did anymore. Pone, Pony, Ponyboy. All in the past. Only Darry and Soda and sometimes Steve called me that. Even the teachers stopped calling me Ponyboy. Everyone started called me Curtis after Mark had started saying it. I kinda liked it that way. I hated anyone calling me Pone at school coz that's what Johnny used to call me. 


	3. 3

**A/N: Thanx you guys for those reviews. Keep 'em comin'! This is a long part but bear with me. It gets better!**

**Disclaimer: Dnt own any of s.e hintons characters. **

We got to Terry's place and found Williamson sitting on the front step. 

"Where's Terry?" Mark asked as we approached him.

"He went to get the booze. He'll be back soon"

Just then Terry pulled up in front of the house and we all jumped in the car. He had six six-packs in the back seat. He started driving.

"Shoot, how'd you manage that?" Mark asked admiringly

"I pulled up in front of the liquor store and sat there trying to think of a way to get the booze. Then I see Two-Bit Mathews outside the liquor store with some blonde and I says to him, I says 'hey, care to do your old pal a favour?' he says 'what's in it for me?'. I got him to get the booze and bought him a six-pack in return for his services" he began to laugh. It was just like Two-Bit to go along something like that. 

We made it to the party in less than 15 minutes with Terry's driving. It wasn't a big party. Just a small one at the school gym. When we got there, there weren't that many people. There was a cop standing outside looking tough trying to keep things under control. 

"He looks like he could use some booze" Mark said. 

Terry drove his car round the back of the gym and got started with the booze.

He handed me one but I knew I wasn't going to drink it. I just held it and sat there listening to Mark ramble on about a kid he met at hospital when he went to visit Bryon's mother.

"I've never met someone so stupid" he said "he doesn't even hate the girl or anything and look what the bitch did to him."

The kid he was talking about, Mike Chambers, drove a black girl home after some white boys were harassing her and when he got her to her house she let all the black guys beat him up, almost killing him.

"Sometimes I just don't understand people" Mark said. By that time he was on his 4th can and Terry had passed out in the front seat. The music in the gym was getting loud. I figured the party must be starting up finally. 

"Lets go inside" I said to Mark and we got out of the car. Inside it was packed. Everyone from school was there. 

"Hey, hey look" Mark whispered to me. I looked. There was a group of girls eyeing us up and down. They looked like Socs girls from the way they were wearing their make up. It didn't mattered anymore though. Nowadays with all that love and peace and all that, all the fighting between Socs and greasers just stopped. And it was hard to tell a greaser from a Soc anyway. Looking poor is the fashion and Socs love to follow the fashion. Long greasy hair was no longer our trademark. They all wear their hair long and buy designer jeans and shirts that look old. I thought they were out of their mind.

Mark smiled mischievously. "The brunette cant take her eyes off you man" he said "come on don't be scared"

"yeah, yeah" I said shoving him over.

"There's Bryon" he said looking over.

"Hey Bryon" he yelled and waved him over. Bryon and his date came over to us and as soon as he saw me his smile faded. 

"Hi Cathy" Mark said to the girl, "I haven't seen you in a long time"

"I haven't been here to see" she answered and then she looked at me.

"I don't think you know Ponyboy Curtis- this is Cathy Carlson" Mark introduced us.

"Hi" I said. I didn't really get a good look at her face because of the lighting but from what I saw she looked like a decent girl, a really nice one and I wondered what she'd be doing with a guy like Bryon. He was known for being a ladies man among other things and she looked like she was a good girl. What did she see in _him_? He wasn't all that good looking. He reminded me of a Saint Bernard puppy but I guess chicks dig that. 

I wondered if Cathy thought Bryon was better than the crowd like Cherry thought of Dally. 

Bryon moved closer to Mark and said "where's the booze?" when he knew Cathy couldn't hear. Mark laughed and put his arm around Bryon's shoulders. I couldn't help but feel a ping of jealously. _That's what I had with Johnny but he's gone._

Mark told Bryon that it was all out in Terry's car. "Go help yourself" he said "Terry won't mind, he's already passed out in the front seat"

Then Mark moved over to me "have fun you too" he said and we walked over to the group of girls. The brunette with the scarlet dress came closer to me. She was nice looking but as soon as she opened her mouth I knew I had to get out of there. "you wanna dance, honey?" she said. She sounded like a screeching monkey. 

Mark was laughing so hard that he almost choked. I pushed past everyone and went out to the back with the brunette calling after me.

Mark came out after a couple of minutes still laughing.

"What the hell kinda chick was that?" he said, sitting beside me on the bonnet of Terry's car. 

"You can pick out the good ones huh?" I said sarcastically.

"That was a one off thing. That girl was totally scary. Did you hear her?" he moved closer to me "you wanna dance, honey?" then he laughed again. He got so weird when he was drunk. 

A kid came up to us and said to me "hey are you Ponyboy Curtis?" 

"Yeah, who are you?". He didn't look familiar. I thought maybe he knew me from school or something. 

"You got something with me kid" he said. He took off his jacket, threw it on the ground and gestured for me to come. "Come on"

"What's with this idiot?" Mark said loudly

"I dono" I said. I really didn't.

"What are you? Chicken? Let's go"

I shrugged. _He wants a fight, he's got one._

We started circling each other. By then there was a crowd coming together to watch. The kid took a swing at me and that set me off. I had him of the ground, punching him, then he kicked me off. When I got up, the kid was coming at me with a beer bottle. Mark stepped in.

"Come on, man, fight fair" he said but instead, the kid cracked Mark across the side of the head with the bottle.

I looked at the kid as though I was going to kill him and he ran off.

"Mark? Mark?" I said shaking him but he was out cold. I ran to the cop and told him to call an ambulance and told him who the kid was. 

I decided to get Bryon. Mark would've wanted that. I pushed through the crowd and when I saw him I yelled "Bryon! Come quick! Mark's hurt"

His expression changed from annoyance to concern as he ran, pushing through the crowd to get to Mark.

He got to Mark and knelt down beside him. "Mark?" but he still didn't answer. Bryon took the end of his shirttail and wiped Mark's bloody face. I knelt down beside him. 

"Is he alright?"

Bryon shook his head. "Did you call the ambulance?"

I told him about the cop and he looked around for him. The cop had the kid who attacked us in handcuffs.

Bryon looked at me "is that the guy who did this?"

"yeah" I said

Bryon looked at the kid. The anger in his eyes was more than enough to scare the kid.

"Buddy boy, you are dead. You had better make up your mind to that. When I get through with you, you are going to be dead" Bryon said through clenched teeth. 

"He meant to get me, if that makes any difference" I said simply.

"If he'd gotten you, he'd be doing me a favour."

_Ouch _

I gave him a wry grin. _All this over a girl,_ I thought, _this guys not worth worrying about._ I would've been ready to crack him in the skull if he hadn't been Mark's brother. He wasn't Mark's real brother. Mark went to live with Bryon and his mother when his parents died when he was just nine years old. It was sad to think about. He didn't really have anyone at least I had Darry and Soda. In looks, Mark and Bryon were complete opposites. Mark had blonde hair and light eyes and Bryon had dark hair and eyes. But Mark always told me that they knew each other so well they could read each others mind.

"What happened?" he finally asked.

I told him in detail about the fight and how the kid got Mark with the bottle. 

He looked away for a while. 

"Do you know Angela Shepard?"

I knew what he meant. "No. I know her brothers pretty well, but I've never been around her much". It was true. I didn't know her personally. "What does Angela have to do with this?"

"I'll tell you later" he said, almost friendly.

Mark began to groan. Bryon moved closer to him, "listen, don't move just lie still. We're going to get you to the hospital" he said softly. 

Mark opened his eyes. His pupils were dilated and I could tell Bryon was spooked when he saw that. I thought for a minute that he was going to cry.

"What's wrong with him?" he asked me.

"Shock" I said and I took off my jacket and put it around Mark. 

When the ambulance came, Bryon jumped in with Mark leaving me behind at the party.


	4. 4

Continued…

I stood there for a minute, taking in the situation. 

_Mark should be alright, I've seen worse. But it should've been me._

"Ponyboy?" I turned to face Cathy. That's when I got a better look at her face. She smiled and I forgot to breath.

"Are you ok?" she was concerned.

"Me? Yeah I'm fine"

"And Mark? Is he ok?"

"What? Mark? Yeah he's going to be fine"

I felt my ears redden. "They're, ah, they're both in the ambulance" I said. She nodded. 

By then everyone had gone back to the party as though nothing had happened. 

I studied Cathy's face for a while, maybe a little longer than was necessary. She looked so worried that I said "how bout we go get Bryon from the hospital"

"How?" 

"Well, how did you get here?" I asked

"Bryon has a car"

"Great! We could take it to get him from the hospital"

"Yeah, but we don't have the keys"

"I could hot wire it"

She stared at me in disbelief but didn't say anymore. I went to work like Mark had told me. Some of the stuff I'd learnt from Steve and Soda anyway. 

The car got started and we were on our way. I could see her looking at me suspiciously from the corner of my eye.

I took a quick look at myself in the rear view mirror. I looked like a JD with my lip cut and my face bruised. 

_She probably thinks I'm a creep. _

I still couldn't work out what a nice girl like her was doing with Bryon. Some guys have all the luck.

"You're M&M's sister right?" I said to break the silence. I knew M&M from school. He was a good kid and always asked me questions about how I train for the track team. 

"Yeah I am"

"Ok" 

It didn't seem like she really wanted to have a conversation so I kept quiet. 

It was dark by then, but there were no stars in sight. I realised I'd forgotten to watch the sunset and almost cussed myself out loud. 

"What's wrong?" Cathy said. I'd forgotten she was there. 

"Nothing. I had to do something today but I forgot to do it, that's all"

"Can't you do it when you get back?"

"No, I can't ever do it today unless, unless I travel back in time or something"

I was thinking about that a lot lately, travelling back in time. I could go back and save Johnny and then Dally wouldn't've died either. I could even go back to stop Mom and Dad from getting killed. But right then I just wanted to see the sunset. I hadn't missed one since Johnny died. It was like a ritual. 

"Do you think Mark will be ok?" she asked

"Yeah. He always seems to get through things alright"

"Yeah", she sighed.

"So how long have you been going out with Bryon?" I wasn't going to ask her about that but I knew I'd regret it if I didn't.

She was obviously surprised by the question but said "this is our first date"

"So, he's not your boyfriend"

"No he's not my boyfriend" she said with a laugh and sat up to see what I was going to say next

"So why don't you give me your number then?" I felt too confident right then to regret asking. I'd never asked a girl for her number before. Usually they just give it to me. But I knew Cathy wasn't like that, that's what I liked about her. 

"Sure" she said with a shrug and wrote it down on a receipt paper from her pocket, then handed it to me.

By then we had reached the hospital. 

When we found Bryon, he actually seemed pleased to see me. 

"I brought your car, I figured you wouldn't have a way to get home. Is Mark going home?" I said

Bryon said that Mark had to stay in bed for a couple of days and then come back to the hospital to get the stitches out in a couple of weeks.

"Help me get him in the car"

I took one of Mark's arms and put it around my shoulders. He looked grogged up and he slurred when he spoke. 

"hey, hey, hey Ponyboy, what are you doing here?" he said.

We got him into the car. I sat in the back with him and let him lean on me. Bryon and Cathy sat in front.

Bryon suddenly turned back and said to me "how'd you start the car with no keys?"

Cathy turned too. "Yeah, how did you?" she said as though she didn't know.

I could feel my ears redden. "I hot-wired it. Mark showed me how to weeks ago"

Bryon almost laughed on hearing that. "Don't make it a habit" he said.

"I never done it before" I shrugged.

*Bryon dropped Curtis near his house. He hated to just take Cathy home, but there wasn't much he could do. Mark was singing to himself in the back seat. He had a good voice, but he had picked a lulu of a song. Cathy pretended not to hear it.

Bryon walked her to the door. "I'm really sorry about the way things turned out", he said.

She grinned. "So am I – but thank goodness Mark isn't hurt any worse than he is. I had a really good time, I really did, especially driving to the hospital with Ponyboy."

He looked at her quickly. She was teasing him to make him mad. "Not really" she continued. "He's not my type- too quiet"

"That's one thing I'm not", Bryon said. He wanted to kiss her, some girls will kiss on a first date, some wont. He decided to play it safe and not kiss her. Besides, the porch light was on and there were four of five little faces peering out from behind the front-room curtains. "I'll call you" he said finally. *

*** is an extract from the book (pages 55-6)**


	5. 5

Telephones. Such an amazing invention. I wondered how they worked. I traced over the faded numbers over and over.

_Maybe I could get a book about them from the library…_

"Pony, what are you doing?" Soda's voice broke my thoughts and I jumped. I didn't know anyone was home. 

"I aint doin' nothing" I moved away and sat on the furthest couch from the phone. Soda came and sat next to me and just stared at me with a huge grin on his face. Like he knew my secret. 

"Tell me"

"What?" I said trying to act dumb.

"Pony" he said

"Ok. Ok. But I don't see how it's any of your business"

"What's her name?"

"Cathy"

"Cathy" he repeated, "Did you call her yet?"

"I was about to"

"Well go on then, don't let me stop you"

I walked over to the phone and dialled the number.

Please don't let M&M answer. Please don't let M&M answer 

 I could feel Soda eyeing me. He always got excited when girls gave me their numbers and encouraged me to call them but I never did. This was different. I asked for her number. 

"Hey Cathy. It's me, Ponyboy Curtis"

"Oh hey Ponyboy, how are you?" she sounded surprised to hear from me. 

"I'm fine, thanks. I was just wondering if you'd like to go out Friday night?"

Silence. My heart thumped. 

She's going to say no, she's going to say no 

"Oh I'm sorry Ponyboy. I'm busy then" she really did sound sorry.

"It's ok. Maybe another time"

"Ok then, I'll see you around ok. Bye"

I shut the phone and walked to my room, shutting the door behind me. Soda knew not to come in and integrate me. He'd heard the whole thing anyway. 

I had a feeling she was going to say no but I couldn't help feeling disappointed. 

But it was worth a try. She was worth it.

*Bryon thought his main problem with Cathy was that she liked him- he wanted her to be crazy about him. He had a very bad ego hang up.

"Guess who called me?" she said, "Ponyboy Curtis. He wanted to go out Friday night"

"No kiddin'" Bryon said, while thinking _I'll murder that guy_. "What'd you tell him?"

"I said I was busy. Am I?"

Bryon was stunned but didn't show it. "You are. I'll pick you up at seven". He had no idea what he was going to pick her up in, or where they'd go after he did pick her up, but he figured he could work that out later. *

***is an extract from the book (page 72)**


	6. 6

**I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Deadly. Enjoy!**

Normally Darry was tensed up and worried about bills, work, anything you can think of. But today he seemed very relaxed so I took the opportunity.

"Darry, I want to get a job" I said. I wanted to sound confident but it came out all wrong, like I was begging.

He put down his paper. 

"Sure. Have you started looking?" he asked with a big smile on his face.

This took me by surprise. "Well, I saw a sign at the drug store. They're looking to hire someone to unload boxes, stack the goods on the shelves, things like that"

"Go for it then" he winked then went back to his newspaper. 

I ran out of the house before he changed his mind.  

The man hired me on the spot when I told him I was Darryl's brother. He said he'd known Darry since he was a little boy and never knew someone more well mannered in his life. I tried to imagine Darry as a little boy but it was hard. I've seen him in pictures but it still seemed like it was somebody else. 

When I came home and told Darry, he said, "Pony, if this job interferes with your school work, you have to quit"

"Ok, ok" I knew he was going to say that. I'd already thought it through. I'd do my work as soon as I came home from school and then go to the drug store. I only had to work 3 days a week. On other days I could hang out with Mark and the other guys or maybe go to the movies. It wasn't much of a life, but it was fine for now, until I could get into college and leave this place. 

After a week on the job I already had to make games for myself to make it more fun. How many magazines I could put on the shelves in 60 seconds. How many boxes I could lift in one turn. I couldn't understand how people could have jobs like this for a living. It was so boring. Sometimes Mr Hill, the owner, had to go home for a little while (he never told me why) and left me at the counter to serve customers. He said he could trust me and would even give me extra for my help. How could I refuse? Besides, dealing with money was better than dealing with boxes and I got a good view of the sunset from the counter.

I would sit there watching the people that came in. I'd try to guess their story. If they were married or had children, why they were buying the things they were buying. I had to do that or I'd go insane. 

I was carefully lining up the cigarettes behind the counter when M&M walked in. He looked different somehow. Older. He was just 13, yet he looked like he was weighed down with worries. 

"Hey what are you doing out so late?" I asked M&M when he came over to the counter. It was almost 7pm but it was already dark. 

"Just wandering the streets"

"You should be at home" kids his ages shouldn't be out by themselves. 

"No" he said quickly. Then he smiled, "I'm sick of home. Can I stay here for a while? I'm just waiting for someone" he walked over to the magazine stand and flipped through one. 

I decided to take a risk. "How's your sister?" 

He didn't look up from the magazine.

"She's ok. She's with Bryon Douglas. They're always together."

"Oh" I said. 

_Why did I ask?_

After he finished flipping through all of the magazines on the stand, he came over to the counter picking up a pack of M&Ms on the way. 

"Just this thanks" he said, "I better go. bye"

I have no idea what M&M's dad does for a living so forgive me if its wrong. I don't remember it being mentioned in the book.


	7. 7

**I'm so bored so I wrote this. I dnt know if its any good. I just wanted to show that Mark was drifting away from Pony as well as Bryon. Theyre all moving forward while he's content where he is. **

Even though I don't see him as much, sometimes Two-Bit got on my nerves. Especially when he came over our house to tell up the latest about whose been in trouble. Just a couple of days ago, while Darry, me and Soda were sitting on the dining table eating, Two-Bit waltzed in and announced that Mark was almost arrested for stealing the principal's car to drive down to his probation officer to tell him that he aint going to steal cars no more.

Of course I knew all of this. I was there when it happened. Mark even tried to take me with him but I had to do other stuff and said I couldn't go. Thank God.

While Two-Bit told us, I could feel Darry's eyes on me. He didn't like Mark from the start and always said he was trouble- and he was to some extent but he was also a really nice guy.

This time when Two-Bit came over, he told us that Charlie had been shot dead and that Mark and Bryon were involved. This set Darry off.

"You are not going anywhere near that Mark again, do you hear me?" he shouted and then followed Two-Bit and Steve out to the police station to find out more. He'd known Charlie for a while, since they were kids.

It didn't make a difference to me anyway. I hadn't seen much of Mark lately. He usually went out with Terry at the Ribbon on days I had to work or had an assignment for school. He didn't really understand the importance of getting good grades. I needed them to go to college and get out of this place.

After a week or maybe more, Mark came into the drug store alone. He looked pissed off about something. I thought maybe it had to do with Charlie's death. Mark and Bryon had been at Charlie's bar and when they left they were attack by some out-of-towners. They had a gun and they killed Charlie when he was defending Mark and Bryon. Mark didn't even mention it. Instead he sat on the counter, swinging his legs and smoking a cigarette.

"What's happening?" I asked. The silence was getting to me. I never felt awkward around Mark before but he just didn't seem like himself.

"Nothing, nothing" he said, "I just didn't have anything to do. Your brother, Soda, told me you were at work. I thought I'd just drop by. I'm meeting Terry later"

"Yeah?" I said with a shrug. It occurred to me then that we really didn't have much to say. But it didn't bother me. 

After a long silence, I said "I heard you guys got Charlie's car"

"Yeah Bryon has it. The police thought Charlie would've wanted that. Bryon, of course, takes it out every night with that Cathy chick" he said her name with such disgust that I winced. 

So that was the problem- Mark was jealous of Cathy. I tried to think of a time that I'd ever been jealous of a girl that was going with any of my friends or my brothers but I couldn't think of any. Girls just didn't get in the way of our friendships. 

"They going steady?" I asked

"Yeah, they're really hitting it off great" he said sarcastically, jumping to the floor with a thump. 

He turned to me and said "I'll cya around ok. I never see you much anymore" and walked out. 


	8. 8

**I thought I'd make this chapter really long because I want to finish this story asap. **

Since Charlie died, I felt like Darry was really making the effort to get to know me. He came into my room while I was doing my homework a few days after the incident and said "Pony, you want to go to the Nightly Double? I hear they're playing 'Gone with the Wind' by popular demand"

I was surprised. He didn't like going to the movies. They were too boring for him. Not only that but he never went out anywhere, he was always too busy. 

"Sure" I said. I hadn't finished my work but I thought that if he was making an effort, then so will I.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. We actually had fun- just the two of us. Darry was acting like his old self back before mom and dad died. In the end he enjoyed the movie as much as I did.

On the drive home we were laughing and talking about when we were kids. He was telling me things I didn't remember.

"I swear to God, you just walked over, grabbed the cockroach off the floor and stuck it in your mouth!" he started laughing again

"ewww yuck!" I couldn't help laughing myself.

"Mom started screaming and opened your mouth to get it out. But by then, you had half off it down."

We couldn't stop laughing the whole way home.

When we got in the house, Darry sat down on the couch and told me to sit next to him.

"Pony, you know, your teacher came around the other day. He showed me that theme you wrote a while back, after Johnny and Dally died" he looked at the floor.

I froze. "Did you read it?" I asked slowly. I couldn't remember exactly what I wrote about Darry in the theme but it wasn't all good. 

"Yeah I did. I loved it. Your teacher thinks that maybe you should get it published and I do too"

"I've always wanted to be a writer" I said smiling. It was a dream come true.

"Good" he said as he stood up and walked into the kitchen, "coz I already sent it to the publishers"

I was surprised he had that much confidence in me so I didn't say anything. I was beginning to like the new relax Darry. 

We hung out more often after that. We went shopping together and he helped me train for track. If we were took lazy to go anywhere, we would just sit together in front of the TV with Soda, Steve and Two-Bit. I was really having the time of my life. It seemed like when Darry was relaxed and happy, the whole world seemed to light up. I was glad I got to see that side of him. 

During that time, I never really saw Mark very much at all. I heard from Terry that the Texans who killed Charlie were caught and that Mark and Bryon had to testify in court but that was all I knew. He didn't come around to the drug store anymore and he stopped calling me. I figured he needed some space to cool off, to get over his jealous of Cathy. That was another thing too. I stopped thinking about Cathy. I had all I wanted right here with me and I didn't need anything else. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I came home from work one day and found Darry hanging over the toilet bowl in the bathroom, puking his guts out. It was the first time I've ever seen him sick and it wasn't pretty. 

"Are you ok? Do you want me to get you anything?" I said bending down next to him. He looked like he was going to pass out. 

"Na Pony, I think I've got the flu or something" he pulled himself up by holding onto the sink and started washing his mouth and face, "I'll be alright"

He staggered back to his bedroom and chucked himself on his bed.

I followed him there and covered him with a blanket because he was shivering.

"Pony" he whispered gesturing for me to come closer so I can hear. I thought he had fallen asleep because he had his eyes shut. 

"Wake me up at 6 ok. I have to work early"

"Ok" I said and walked out, turning the light off and shutting the door behind me.

An hour later Soda came home.

"Don't you think Darry's been acting strange lately?" I asked him over dinner. Darry hadn't cooked anything so we had to eat leftovers.

Darry had been forgetting things lately. He was always in-control and wrote down appointments, remembered dates but lately everything seemed t escape his mind. 

"No, why?" Soda answered through a mouthful of food.

"I don't know. He's sick, he's got the flu" I said. Suddenly I didn't feel hungry anymore at the thought of Darry puking in the bathroom.

"Darry sick? Are you kidding?" Soda said, food spitting out of his mouth left right and centre.

"I aint kidding" I must've looked pretty spooked because he put down his spoon and said, "Don't worry Pony. He'll be alright". 

Darry didn't get up for work the next day. He was too tired so I called up his work and told them he wouldn't be in. He didn't want to eat anything and every time he did, he'd throw it all up all over the bed. He slept all day and night. The only time he was awake was when he wanted to go to the john. Both me and Soda had to help him with that. Two-Bit and Steve stayed away from our house when they heard that Darry had a bad flu.

"I got a date. I can't get sick" Two-Bit said. He came around and dropped off some food for us but left it on the porch so he wouldn't have to come inside. Steve was too busy with work and school. He sent Darry some flowers with Two-Bit. 

After 3 days of this, I called our family doctor, Dr. James, to our house. I was really starting to get worried. If it was just a normal flu, he would've started to get better by now, I thought. The whole time Soda and I couldn't sleep incase anything happened to him. We sat by his bedside all day. I couldn't go to school and leave him like that so I got someone to pick up my homework for me instead. 

When Dr. James came he told us to leave the room while he examined Darry. 

Soda and me stayed outside impatiently walking around the living room.

"He's going to be ok. I'm telling you Pony" Soda said but I could tell he was trying to convince himself more than me.

"How are we going to pay for all this?" I said a little too loud. I didn't mean for Soda to hear me.

"I don't know" he said. For the 3 days that Darry was sick, we both didn't go to work, so all our sources of income were gone. 

After an hour the doctor came out.

"He has some swelling of the neck and underarm" he said with an expressionless look.

I hadn't noticed that but I took his word for it.

"If he's like that tomorrow I want you boys to bring him to the hospital"

I gulped and looked at Soda who nodded at the doctor. It was more serious that we thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn't go to school the next day. Soda and me just sat around Darry's bed waiting for him to wake up. He kept coming in and out of consciousness. 

"Ponyboy?" he mumbled and I jumped to his side. He sounded like he was drunk. Nothing like his in-control self.

"Yeah Darry, what is it?" I whisper gently in his ear.

"Were you playing with my bike again? I told you not to come near it and now it's scratched" he nodded off to sleep again.

I looked at Soda in confusion.

"That happened when you were 5" he said with tears in his eyes, "what's happening to his brain Pony? I'm scared". He burst out crying.

 "I think we should take him now" I said.

I pulled the covers off Darry. They were soaked in sweat. I grabbed one arm and Soda grabbed the other. We carried him to the car and got in. Soda sat at the back with Darry.

 "Ponyboy?" Darry said again. He looked so sick that I was almost going to cry for him. "Did you hear anything from the publishers?" he whispered. Now Soda looked at me in confusion. I leaned over Darry and said "yeah, they're going to publish it". I hate lying but I thought this one was necessary. I hadn't heard anything from the publishers but my teacher had said it takes a while for them to get back to you. 

We got to the hospital and the nurse contacted Dr. James who came down immediately. Darry was put on a stretcher and taken away.

"I'm going to take him in for some tests" was all Dr. James said, leaving us in the waiting room.

We sat around. The wait was torture. It reminded me of when mom and dad were in hospital after the auto wreck. We were waiting in the same waiting room. But I didn't want to think about the painful memories of that day. 

I dropped to my knees and silently prayed for Darry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Pony, wake up" Soda said shaking me. 

I looked around. We were still at the hospital. 

"How long have we been asleep for?" I asked rubbing my eyes

"About 14 hours, Pony. The doctor still hasn't come to talk to us" he said looking around.

Just then, a man walked in and sat next to us. He was a doctor but he was young, he looked no older than 25. 

"Are you Darrel Curtis's brothers?" he said. 

"Yes sir" Soda answered. He was starting to shake again. 

"I wanted to tell you boys that thanks to your concern for your brother, we were able to diagnose him early which means there's a greater chance of…"

"Wait a minute" Soda interrupted. His voice was shaking and his eyes were going wild. "What do you mean diagnose him? Diagnose him with that?"

"Didn't Dr. James come in and tell you?" he asked in disbelief. We both shook our heads.

He took a deep breath and said "Your brother has cancer".


	9. 9

**I'm in a very depressed mood! I turned 20 today (13/11) *cries* I'm so ooooold!!!!!!**

**Anywayz****, hope ya'll enjoy this. Bye.**

Hodgkin's disease. I never even heard of such a thing before. I wanted to go to a library and look it but it wasn't the right time. Me and Soda were sitting in the waiting room interrogating the doctor. Soda was going wild. I'd never seen him like that before.

"You don't know him" he kept saying to the doctor, "he's health and fit. He takes care of himself"

"Mr. Curtis, calm down" the doctor said. He later told us his name was David Mathews.  

It only made Soda madder when he said that.

But he kept his mouth shut.

"So what is it, how did he get it?" I asked trying to sound as casual as possible.

"Well the truth is, we don't know" he sat back in the seat, "we don't know the causes and we don't know why he in particular got it. We do know that it's not cause by injury and it's not contagious."

I didn't know whether he said that last part to make us feel better knowing we won't get it from Darry but that was not at all what I was worried about.

I guess up until then I sort of thought that Darry was invincible. Like Superman. 

"Can we go see him?" Soda said

"He's in a deep sleep at the moment. We'll be starting the chemo as soon as he's ready"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr Mathews said he'd let us see Darry after an hour, so me and Soda sat around doing nothing until Soda said "get me something to drink will ya?"

I shrugged and took the elevator to the basement where the snack bar was. I decided to get some fries to go as well so I sat on the stool waiting to be served.

"Ponyboy?" 

I looked up. It was Cathy. I'd forgotten that she worked there. The last thing in the world I wanted was to socialise, to be asked questions.

"What are you doing here?" she said

I didn't want to tell her. I didn't want anyone to know about Darry. Two-Bit and Steve didn't even know yet.

"I'm just here with my brother, just doing some tests, you know the drill"

She smiled and said "yeah so what can I get you?"

I made my order and waited a while. The place was pretty empty. Maybe sick people's families are too upset for food. I felt a bit guilty. 

Cathy put me the drinks and the fries in a paper bag on the counter.

I took the bag and went to leave "bye" I said 

"Ponyboy, wait" she said

I stopped and turned. She looked really sad all of a sudden. I thought maybe she broke up with Bryon or something. I didn't really care anymore. There were more important things in my life.

"I know this is a strange question, but have you by any chance seen M&M lately?"

I didn't expect her to ask that. 

"No why?" I said

"He's gone missing" she said trying not to cry

"Oh I'm sorry" I said but I knew I didn't sound sorry at all.

"If you see him just let me know ok. You've got my number"

"Sure" I said and hurried to the elevator.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I came up to the waiting room, I found Soda asleep on the seat. I wasn't really sleepy so I put the food and drinks in the seat next to Soda and snuck into Darry's room. I didn't like to go against the rules but this was different. I needed to see for myself if he was alright.

He was lying on the bed in a deep sleep just like the doctor. I went in and closed the door behind me. I sat on the bed and took his hand. It was cold and dry. He looked different. I noticed that his face was thinner and paler than ever before. He looked so weak unlike the strong, fit Darry I knew. 

Before I knew it, the tears had started coming down my face. I couldn't help it. 

"Darry, I know you cant hear me. I just wanted you to know that I," I couldn't find the right words, "that I cant live without you. So please don't leave me"

I was sobbing out loud now. It was hard to keep it in. why did this stuff always happen to me? mom, dad, Johnny, Dally and now Darry. Just when we started getting along great too.

_God please help him please. God, if you help him, I'll never argue or fight with him again!_

Then the door opened. I wiped the tears from my face before turning to see who it was.

"You must be Darrel's younger brother" whispered the nurse when she came in. I eyed her up and down suspiciously. She was very pretty with dark eyes and hair. She looked around 20 years old. 

She smiled. 

"Don't worry. I won't tell on you"

"Thanks" I said. 

I was going to leave but I had to ask her. "How is he?" I said. 

"He's doing great," she gave me a big smile, "He just fell asleep an hour ago. He told me to tell ya'll not to worry and that Ponyboy has to go to school" she smiled again.

That was typical of Darry. No matter what happened to him, he'd always be thinking of me and Soda.

"He's going to be alright" the nurse said again, "I've seen cases like this before. They always get through"

I smiled at her. I needed to hear that.


End file.
